Dear Wendyl,
I’m the single mother of a 15-year-old girl and we have always got along fine, until recently when we went camping. Some friends invited us and I thought “why not?”.
Well, we got there and it was an awful experience. My daughter turned her nose up at everything and refused to make friends with the other kids who were camping. She ruined the holiday for me and we ended up coming home early.
Now I’m really upset she stopped me from having fun with my friends. I know I should say something to her, but I don’t know where to start. Do you have any ideas?Erica, Auckland
Dear Erica,
It’s very common for teenagers to go through stages where they only think of themselves and it seems your daughter has just been through one of these.
It’s really important to point this out to her, because otherwise she may never move on and could become a terribly selfish adult. Start the conversation with how her actions made you feel.
Don’t get angry or use explosive language, simply tell her how her behaviour affected you. She will be totally surprised, as it would never have occurred to her. Then follow up with all the things you do in your everyday life that involve you thinking of her.
Ask her if she might like to start considering you a bit more in the decisions she makes. If you keep the anger out of it this could be a really useful conversation for the two of you to have at this point in your lives.
Send your questions to wendyl.nissen@nzww.co.nz or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, PO Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142
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