Macho? Rough? Simple? After 24 years in wrestling, Tayla Ford is used to all the clichés. But the Kiwi Olympic athlete tells us that emotional intelligence, sensitivity and self-belief are just as important as brawn in the sport she loves.
Christchurch-born Tayla, 31, started wrestling as a child, encouraged by her father. For many years, she had a coach who excelled at the technical side of wrestling but offered little emotional support.
It wasn’t until 2017, when Tayla moved to Adelaide to train with a new coach that she discovered what a difference it made to be surrounded by love and support.
She explains, “I was brought up having a coach saying one thing, so I thought, ‘OK, that’s what it’s supposed to be like,’ but then I had someone different and it took me a long time to get used to the positive impact.”
Changing her mindset after all those years wasn’t easy.
“One of my friends helps with doing my massages for recovery. She said, ‘I just want to support you because I believe in you so much.’ At the time, I was like, ‘OK, thank you, but I don’t really believe in myself yet.’ It took five or six years before I realised, ‘Oh, yeah, I need to believe in myself too.’”
As her confidence grew, Tayla reached new heights in her sporting career. She had already brought home bronze from the 2014 Commonwealth Games in Glasgow and she repeated that feat in Birmingham in 2022. Then in March this year, she won her pool at the qualifier in Egypt. The achievement made her the first Kiwi woman ever to qualify for the Olympics in wrestling.
In the lead-up to Paris, she’s been training two or three times a day, seven days a week, with each session lasting up to two hours. Over time, Tayla has learnt to accept the emotional highs and lows that come with such an intense regimen.
She admits, “When I go to a training and don’t do as well as I would hope, I’m like, ‘Maybe this is just me. Maybe I’m just getting worse!’ I let myself sulk because if I bottled it up, it would all explode. I embrace myself feeling sad and doubting myself.”
But her rule is that she won’t let a negative mindset last overnight. Tayla insists, “I’m good at bringing myself back.”
Now, as head coach of Wrestling Academy South Australia, Tayla encourages her athletes of both genders to open up about their emotions. “If you don’t feel good, say so. I’m trying to get them to communicate a bit more – to know that it’s OK and it’s totally normal.”
In general, the wrestling community is very supportive, Tayla says. “We all get along really well because we understand the weight cutting [losing weight to try to fit into a lower weight category] we have to go through and the hard training we have to do.”
The one trait all wrestlers have in common is their work ethic, she adds. “We appreciate people who train hard. Instead of talking, we prefer action.”
Wrestling isn’t just about brute strength, Tayla tells. Like all top wrestlers, she has a comprehensive knowledge of different countries’ wrestling styles. She studies each opponent’s personal technique before taking them on.
During a match, she’s acutely aware of the other wrestler’s subtle movements. There is often a slight change in pressure that warns her an attack is about to happen.
“It’s timing, it’s body awareness, and it’s also thinking and waiting for the right time, but without being too passive. There’s a lot of stuff going on at the same time.”
Ahead of Paris, Tayla has taken a three-month break from her coaching job so she can focus on training for the Games. She spends most of her free time at home, hanging out with her partner, Rob Venus, 34, and their four cats, Peanut, Chip, Oreo and Mayo. “We’ve got to keep them happy or else they terrorise us!”
Tayla and Rob have even cleared out one room of their home to be a dedicated cat gym, featuring a giant exercise wheel – like a hamster wheel for cats. They’ll happily spend half an hour just trying to get Oreo, who’s “plus-sized”, on to the wheel, laughs Tayla. “We’ve got to lure her on with treats.”
Rob will be in Paris next month to watch Tayla live her dream at the 2024 Olympic games, then they’ll spend 10 days on holiday in Italy, fulfilling another life-long goal of Tayla’s – seeing the Colosseum in Rome.
Tayla might use the time off to start teaching Rob how to wrestle too. “He already does gym work, so he’s stronger than me, which is what I like!”
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