Dear Wendyl,
I come from an unusual family in that I’m the only one who has managed to make a go at life. I own my own business, have a great marriage and three terrific kids. But the rest of my family are real “dropkicks”.
I feel bad about this and keep in touch and help when I can, but I really feel like I don’t have much in common with them. The problem is that my wife seems to take great pleasure in telling all my friends and colleagues about my family and the various things they get up to, which you can imagine are fairly horrendous.
Everyone thinks it’s really funny, including her, but I don’t see the humour in laughing about others’ misfortune. How do I get her to stop?**
Embarrassed, *Hamilton
Dear Embarrassed,
I can’t be absolutely sure about this, but I think your wife might be using these stories to illustrate to your friends and colleagues how well you’ve done. There’s some sort of reverse pride thing going on. So don’t be too hard on her, as she probably hasn’t realised it hurts you.
All you need to do is explain that you can see the funny side but you feel desperately unhappy about your family and it hurts you to hear them being laughed at. And realise for yourself that not many families are perfect, so you’re not alone in having the “dropkick” relatives. Just suggest to your wife that you’d like that side of your life to remain quiet from now on.
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