Pictures: Sacha Kahaki
When Sky Sport commentator Honey Hireme-Smiler is in front of the cameras during a live match, rugged up in a corporate coat and with a microphone in hand, fans see the former Black Fern and Kiwi Ferns captain in full presenter mode.
But as soon as the Hamilton sporting sensation arrives home to her wife Rochelle, the 43-year-old throws on a comfy pair of trackies to tackle her busy life away from broadcasting, including doing nana duties for their adorable granddaughter Kelaiah, nearly two, and a second job as a kaiāwhina or cultural support at Hospice Waikato.
On top of that, the award-winning former rugby, league and sevens star – often dubbed “Honey Bill Williams” due to her multi-sport career – also juggles regular hospital visits because Rochelle is fighting stage-four cholangiocarcinoma.
Youth mentor Rochelle, 42, was diagnosed with an advanced case of the rare bile-duct cancer in December 2021. The diagnosis came after a visit to her GP for excessive itching and a sore stomach. A scan showed the cancer had spread to her ovaries, lower abdomen, lungs and some lymph nodes.
“It’s rare for stage-four patients with cholangiocarcinoma to make the kind of progress Rochelle has,” says Honey. Their blended family includes her son Karasharn, 19, and Rochelle’s boys, Tyronne, 23, and Kieran, 21. “Doctors predicted Rochelle would survive 12 months with treatment, or six without it. She’s now at two and a half years!”
Honey has been by her wife’s side throughout the gruelling treatments, starting with six months of chemotherapy, which significantly reduced the tumours. Since the cancer is wrapped around Rochelle’s bile ducts – tubes that carry digestive fluid between the liver, gallbladder and small intestine – she’s had both metal and plastic stents inserted as a drainage system, however, the plastic ones need to be replaced every 12 weeks.
“Having medical insurance has been vital, so Rochelle isn’t on a wait list because she could end up with blocked stents and infections,” explains Honey, who met her “best friend” Rochelle 12 years ago while playing club rugby. “If the bile has nowhere to go, you’re not going to live very long.”
While Rochelle’s cancer remained stable for nine months, a scan in late 2022 showed it had started to spread and she underwent another four months of chemo. Again, the cancer stabilised.
Then, in March last year, she and Honey sought a second opinion on her treatment. They were overjoyed when a specialist liver surgeon said he could operate to get rid of the remaining cancer.
“But once he went inside and had a look, he found more cancer,” shares Rochelle, who married Honey in 2019. “It was small enough that it wouldn’t be picked up through the scan. Since the cancer is stage four, it can spread and hide in the lymph nodes at any time. He closed me up and pretty much said he couldn’t do what he thought.”
A determined Rochelle went back on chemo for another four months. Then a different specialist found cysts on her ovaries. They thought it was likely stage-four ovarian cancer since the cysts were growing despite the chemo, so Rochelle underwent a full hysterectomy last December. Fortunately, biopsies have since found the cysts were benign.
“During that time, about 20 of us flew to the Cook Islands for our son Kieran’s 21st,” says Rochelle. She booked a beautiful waterfront room in Aitutaki for her and Honey that featured its own private jetty. “It was our first overseas trip together with the boys as adults and our granddaughter, which was cool.”
The couple also later enjoyed a romantic getaway on Auckland’s Waiheke Island thanks to TimeOut, a charity that creates lasting memories by arranging relaxing “staycations” for people with terminal illnesses, relying on the generosity of Kiwis with baches.
“When you’re going through treatment, rest is so important,” shares Honey, who is now an ambassador for the foundation. “TimeOut gave us different options of places to stay. Since Rochelle hadn’t been to Waiheke, we chose a peaceful holiday home there for her birthday. We caught great weather, had fish ’n’ chips on the beach, gathered kaimoana for the barbecue and even went zip-lining.”
More recently, the couple flew to the United States for a Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation conference. Organisers invited Honey to the event as a guest speaker to talk from a caregiver’s perspective.
“It was the hardest talk I’ve ever had to do,” admits Honey, who met patients and medical experts from around the world. “But we learnt a lot and were given time with two of the world’s best surgeons and an oncologist. They gave us advice.”
However, the news devastated the women when they learned that Rochelle’s metal stents are permanent, making her inoperable because they are too difficult to move.
“It was a shock – we were crying at the table,” Honey recalls. “We’ve always worked around chemo reducing Rochelle’s cancer enough to make her operable at some point. It gives us more perspective on the journey and while we’re winning at the moment, surgery probably won’t ever be an option.”
Honey recently signed another two-year contract with Sky. That means she’ll be busy with the broadcasting job she loves from Friday to Sunday for the rest of 2024.
“Monday is my day off and the other three days I work at the hospice,” says the star, who is of Raukawa, Ngāti Hauā and Ngāti Whakaue descent. “I mostly support and advocate for a person’s cultural wishes using tikanga Māori [customary practices], helping them to understand and plan their end-of-life care.”
Rochelle, who has Ngāti Porou, Te Whānau Akai and Waituhi heritage, does casual work as a caregiver supporting displaced and disadvantaged kids. She also manages the couple’s Airbnb and a campervan they rent out.
Honey says, “Rochelle’s on a chemo break. Her last scan showed some cancer growth, but the oncologist is comfortable with delaying treatment. We know at some point there won’t be a lot of treatment options left, so the more we can stretch it out, the better.”
Cancer didn’t stop Rochelle from completing a six-week gym challenge recently. As of last year, she and Honey have also studied te reo Māori to deepen their connection to their culture.
Proud nan Rochelle also goes to weekly swimming lessons with her granddaughter, whom she calls “the boss of the house”.
Honey smiles, “Kelaiah has just found her emotions and her personality is coming out. She’s a very happy and intelligent little girl. She clings to her nan and doesn’t want to know anybody else in the room except Rochelle!”
And there’s more cuteness on the way, with a second grandchild, a boy this time, due next month.
Rochelle enthuses, “Having family around, including babies and new additions, helps me stay out of those dark spaces. Keeping a positive mindset is so important, but I have lots to smile about.”
The majority of the people TimeOut supports are women with terminal cancer. Last year, the charity helped 350 children make magical memories with a terminal parent.
For more info or to donate, visit timeoutnz.org.
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